What Is Happiness?
by ellielovesaussies
Summary: Nicholas Jonas grew up as a relatively normal boy. Him and his brothers formed a band that is now one of the most popular bands in the world. What he doesn’t know, is that he might not be what he thinks he is…NILLY


Nicholas Jonas grew up as a relatively normal _boy. _Him and his brothers formed a band that is now one of the most popular bands in the world. What he doesn't know, is that he might not be what he thinks he is…NILLY.

Full Summary.

Nick Jonas is a teenage heartthrob. He has a unusual life that he's relatively happy with. He has a best friend who he's totally in love with and brothers that share his love of rocking onstage in front of thousands of fans.

What happens when Nick is raped, and turns out to be Pregnant? How is it possible? What secrets have his parents been keeping from him? How will he deal with it? What can this possibly lead too? What is Lilly going to think when her best friend starts growing a baby inside him?!

Find out in…

**What Is Happiness?**

--

Nick's POV

The worst week of my life started late. It was a Monday morning. I slumped out of bed, absolutely late for school. Yeah, even though I'm a rock star in a huge band, I go to public school. Why? Our parents wanted us to remain normal kids.

So, here I was, Late for school once again. Actually, to be honest, I wasn't late. I liked getting to school early. Ten minutes early, actually, but it took me forever to get ready, so I woke up at 6. School started at 8 o'clock. Today I woke up at 6:56.

I bolted out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom, severely having to us the bathroom. The door was shut and locked. I slammed my fist on the door and groaned.

"JOE! GET OUT! I HAVE TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL!" I shouted.

"Keep you pants on, Woman!" Joe yelled back. Another minute and Joe appeared. "Jesus Christ, Nick. What, is it your time of the month?!" He asked. Joe enjoyed calling me a girl. For some reason, I was a girl in his eyes, and there wasn't anything that could change his view. He never used 'he or him' when talking about me, but the female alternatives. He always got in trouble for it. My parents were actually really annoyed with Joe because he did it.

It was somewhat of a touchy subject for me as well. I am a boy, I have a penis, all that, but… sometimes I didn't believe it. Especially a certain time of the month. Yeah. I know what your thinking. But, its just something I've been dealing with for the past two years. I'm 15, and a few months after I turned 13, I noticed that once a month, I had something of a period. Yeah, like a girl, but it usually only lasted for a day. Blood that appeared in my boxers, and stomach pains and mood swings and such. I didn't tell anyone about it. I didn't want anyone to think anything strange of me. The doctor couldn't explain it, but she said for now to just deal with it.

This was one of the reasons I hated that Joe called me a girl.

I ventured into the bathroom and got ready for school. After about forty five minutes of getting ready, I bounded down the stairs and saw my best friend sitting in the kitchen talking to Joe and my mom. I walked in and they looked to me.

"Finally! God, what took you so long?" Lilly said.

"I woke up late." I muttered. I sat down next to Lilly and sighed.

"No, no. We don't have time for breakfast, now! We have to get to school." Lilly insisted. She jumped up and pulled me outside. I grabbed my bag on the way out and we started down the block.

"So, you slept in late? How'd that happen?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I dunno."

"Weird."

"I guess."

"Hmm." She said. "So, wanna hang out tonight?"

"Can't. I have a show." I said.

"Lame…" She said. I nodded.

"Sorry."

"Nah, its cool. I mean… I just… I kind of wanted to hang. No big deal." She said.

"We can hang tomorrow."

"Oh, cool." I looked to her. I smiled. Lilly was one of the most beautiful girls I knew. I had a huge crush on her, but she was completely oblivious to it. She was one of my best friends, and I could tell her almost everything, but this. That I liked her. She'd gone through tons of boyfriends and break ups, most of which I'd comforted her with. She was the most amazing person I knew.

We made our way into school and went to our lockers. Lilly's was nest to mine, and that's how we originally met when our family first moved to Malibu. She didn't treat me differently because I was a Jonas Brother. She just took me as any other person. We soon became best friends, and we have been for a year now.

"So, did you hear about the whole thing with Amber and Ashley?" Lilly brought up.

"No, what happened?" I asked her.

"Amber's family is moving to Georgia."

"Whoa! That's awesome!"

"Yeah, but it sucks for Ashley, cause nobody else really likes her." One major thing I loved about Lilly was that she always empathized with people. She could see the best in anyone.

"Yeah. I suppose." I said. Then, Miley and Oliver showed up and the four of us went to class.

The rest of the day was like that. All of my days were. It was a completely normal.

On Wednesday, I woke up with a killer stomach ache. I knew what it was. I crawled downstairs and saw my mom in the kitchen. I sat down and gave her a innocent look.

"Mom, can I go back to bed? I feel terrible…" I whined.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" My mom asked.

"I have a stomach ache… its killing me…" I moaned as I held my lowers stomach, where the pains erupted from. My mom felt my head and sighed.

"Well, I suppose… but you have to go tomorrow."

"I think I'll be fine… but right now…Uhg… I just…Uhg." I groaned. My mom nodded and ruffled my curls.

"Alright, sweetie. Take it easy, hun." She said.

"Thanks, mom." I said. I slumped up stairs and past Joe's room where he was getting ready. He looked at me confused.

"What's your problem?" He asked. I sighed.

"I have a stomach ache."

"Cramps?" He asked resting his hand on my shoulder with fake compassion. I shrugged him off.

"Just leave me alone, Joe. I'm a guy. Just quit the whole… 'Nick's A Girl' thing. Its just obnoxious." I spat as I walked toward my room. I lay down and pulled the covers over my head. I curled into a ball and held my aching stomach. I felt terrible. It sort of felt like I was hungry, and I hadn't eaten for weeks, but at the same time, nauseous and queasy.

I lay there until I knew that Joe and Frankie were off at school and that Kevin and Mom had gone. I waited until I was alone. I crawled out of bed and found a new pair of boxers, to change out of my slightly blood splattered ones. I quickly crept into my parent's bathroom and stole one of my mom's feminine products that looked and felt like a small diaper. I set it inside my boxers briefs and put them on. I quickly washed the soiled ones and put them in my closet. I grabbed a pair of shorts and put them on.

I lay grabbed my comforter off my bed and went downstairs to the living room. Lying down on the couch, I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. I watched TV all day, or at least until I got really tired. I went back up to my room and fell asleep. I woke to someone sitting next to me. A hand pulled the covers from over my head and brought in the light. I groaned and looked up to them. It was Lilly. I sighed and pulled the covers over my head again.

"Oh, get up, ya pansy." She said in a joking voice. I groaned as my stomach set into yet another fit of bumps. I held my stomach and groaned. Lilly sighed. "Nick, what is your problem?"

"Stomach ache."

"Liar."

"What?" I said.

"Well, no stomach ache comes from your lower stomach where your holding it. The only one is cramps." Dammit, Lilly. Her knowledge of medical information came from her mother, who was a Pediatric doctor. Mine, actually.

"Maybe it is cramps." I muttered.

"Shush, Nick. You're a guy. Guys don't get cramps."

"Uh Huh…" I muttered. Lilly sighed.

"Nick, come on. It can't be that bad."

"Lilly, I don't bother you when you have your period." I spat at her. She giggled.

"Nick, you don't get periods. It doesn't apply. You don't have cramps. You're a guy! Now, get up and lets go play."

"Lilly, I don't think I can play today. I don't feel well." I whined.

"But Nicky! Emilie and Siren are waiting for us!" She said referring to her Dolfies. Emilie was a blonde girl with blue eyes and Siren was a boy who had shoulder length brown hair and one green eye and one blue eye.

"Emilie and Siren can wait until tomorrow. Lilly, really. I don't feel well."

"Oh… fine." She said. She jumped up and went over to a bookshelf where she pulled out her favorite book. Twilight. She liked reading to me when I was sick. This was a usual one. She came back and snuggled closer to me, which made me blush, and started reading.

We made it half way though until I was asleep. She stayed with me for most of it, but had to leave when her mom called her to go home. She hugged me goodbye and left.

Later that night, my mom came into my room. She sat down on the edge of my bed and smiled at me.

"Nick, sweetie, I made a appointment at the doctor tomorrow. I don't think you should be getting these stomach aches so often." I sighed, and nodded without fighting it.

The next day, I went to see Lilly's mom. My mom drove us in, but I made her stay out so I could talk about it. I walked in and sat down. Mrs. Truscott soon appeared.

"Well, how are we doing, today, Nick?" She asked, smiling as she came in. I shrugged. My stomach ache disappeared quickly overnight as well as the blood.

"Not great."

"Well, you're here for a reason, hun. What's wrong?"

"My mom's been worried about the stomach aches. I… I don't know what to say."

"Nick, do you think maybe you should tell your mom about the monthly problems?"

"No… I can deal with it alone, but… I just… Its been bothering me more than usual lately."

"How so?"

"Well… I dunno. Everything with my brothers… its just…"

"What about your brothers?"

"Well, Joe… he likes to anoy me by insiting that I'm a girl. He constantly makes cracks about me having a 'time of the month' and being girlie, but… I dunno."

"Well, you really need to just tell him that its not funny. Its not ok for him to be joking with you like that."

"I know… but… I mean, I am a boy, so it shouldn't bother me this much, right?"

"Well, gender can be a subjective idea." My head shot up to her.

"Dr. Truscott, you don't actually think that I'm a girl, do you?"

"Nick, I don't. I'm not saying it's a complete impossibility, but the chances of that are extremely slim. You shouldn't worry about it."

"NO! I'm a boy! I know it! I like girls! I'm not one!"

"I know. I know. Trust me, I've seen how you look at Lilly." My jaw dropped.

"What are you talking about? Lilly and I are just friends!"

"Sure you are. It doesn't mean that you don't like her…"

Her and I locked eyes for a few minutes, and then I gave in.

"Ok. Ok. I like her. Big deal. She doesn't like me like that."

"Well, she doesn't see it. Give her some time. Don't give up on her, Nick." I nodded. "And as for the stomach aches, if you really don't want to tell your parents, I can only suggest a pain medication."

"But… Dr. Truscott, I still can't understand why its happening. I mean… I'm a boy. Why would I be bleeding like that? I mean… its unnatural!"

"Nick, I think you should stop worrying about it. I can suggest that you tell at least your mom about it, though. She'll understand. She's your mom. She loves you no matter who or what you are."

"I'm not a girl!"

"I never said you were."

My mom drove us home and I slumped upstairs into bed. I wanted to tell my mom. I felt like she could help me more than anyone else.

I was going to tell her.

Now.

I walked downstairs to the living room where she was reading the newspaper. I sat down opposite her and she looked to me.

"How are you feeling, hun?" She asked. I shrugged.

"Mom… can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure, Nicky. Anything."

"Mom… for the past few years… since I turned 13, some things have been happening to me…" I started.

"Nick, are you sure you don't want to talk to your father about this?" Mom asked. I sighed.

"No…no… no… Mom. I wanna talk to you." I said.

"Ok. Continue."

"Well… Its not like… boy stuff. Its… well... every month, theres one day, where I get these terrible cramps, and mood swings and I bleed and stuff… and… that what happened yesterday. Mom, I don't know what to do…" I said. She looked at me worried.

"You mean… like…"

"Kind of like a girl's period. But… Mom, I'm a boy. Why would that happen?!" I asked. She looked at me worried. She sighed and opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Joe, Frankie and Kevin coming in the door. I sighed. My mom looked at me, asking to continue. I shook my head 'No' and sighed.

"I'm gonna go to bed. Night." I muttered. She kissed my forehead like any mother would and nodded.

"Sleep well, hun." She said.

Great. More terrible things.

Thursday was terrible. I went to school and had a miserable day, just thinking about the things my mother was going to say and then I had a show that night.

We did the entire show, and the whole time I was preoccupied. I forgot the lyrics to half of the songs and apologized a bunch of times.

After the show, I went outside for some fresh air.

Within four minutes, I was thrown against the wall by someone and… oh, no….why is everything black!?"

Shit. I'm unconscious.

--

* * *

**Ok, so. Yeah. First story, but I've been writing forever. This idea came from this dream I had about intersex children. It kind of scared me, but... meh.**

**xo**

**ellie  
**


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